I spent last week in Elkhart, Indiana. I thank God for family and the goodness of being next to each other. On Sunday, Tim, Charlotte, Myra and I drove to the Mars Hill Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan which is about two hours away.

The pastor, Rob Bell, spoke on Philippians 1:23-26 - I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary... that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you.

His thoughts about Paul and his suffering while he was in jail have come to mind often this last week. I re-listened to the sermon online and jotted some of the thoughts down. I connect with Paul's desire to 'depart'. I admire his perspective. I claim God's grace. I need His joy.

The rest of this post are excerpts from Rob Bell's sermon -
March 16, 2008 Mars Hill Link

Depart: to strike camp, to pull anchor

Paul taps into the truth of those things you and I experience that are so painful you find yourself thinking, oh man, it would just be easier to be out of here than face this.

Paul says, I am experiencing an extraordinary amount of pain, of tension, I am torn. To be honest, this life, I would just rather leave. Seriously, I would rather go be with Christ. Some things are too painful. Some suffering is unbearable. Some things just rip our hearts out. Just hold it right there. Actually, I would rather just depart. I would rather strike camp. I would rather pull up anchor. I would rather go.

BUT... Paul has a particular conception. A particular believe about what God is up to in this world. He is a dead man walking, but he falls back on this fundamental belief about who God is and what it means to be connected with these people he is writing to.

All of you share in God's grace with me. Philippians 1:7

Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes from prison in 1942, refused to give allegiance to Hitler

What is meant is not something artificially worked up, but it (joy) is a gift freely given. Joy dwells in God, and comes from Him possessing spirit, body and soul. Once this joy has grasped a person it grows, it carries him or her away, it throws open the closed doors.

I am not talking about the kind of joy you have to create for yourself. I am not talking about the kind of joy you have to manufacture, paste on a smile. I am talking about the kind of joy that comes from the very core of who God is and what the universe is at the deepest ground of His being. A joy that is present in the very nature of God. You have to tap into that. It is a gift.

The joy of God has been through the poverty of the manger and the affliction of the cross, therefore, it is indestructible and irrefutable. It does not deny affliction when it it there, but it finds in the very midst of distress that God is there. It looks death in the face and it is just there that it finds LIFE.

It's tough. It's hard. We are suffering. We are getting kicked around. But I am going to stay with you guys because on the other side of this, as we make our way through this, we are going to look back and see God's grace in ways we never thought imaginable. I am going to continue.

Rob Bell concluded his sermon by praying -
God we bring to You our suffering, our pain that makes us want to strike camp. We want to live so fully in the truth that we can name and claim and own and identify our pain, what it looks like, what it feels like and we want to commit it to You so that we can continue in progress and joy. God we want to tap into the kind of joy that opens the doors that are closed. We want to tap into the kind of joy that survives the poverty of the manger and the affliction of the cross. God we want to receive the kind of joy that can look death in the face and find there life, that is truly life. Please rescue us from convictions and believes that don't give life, that don't give grace, that don't give us the common life and fellowship of the Holy Spirit.
In the strong, healing, resurrection of Jesus, Amen.